one month ago…
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| October 2014 Courtney looking up and knowing where she would be in a few short weeks. The JOY on her face is just breathtaking… |
Today marks one month since my beautiful girl went home to her Beloved. I woke up this morning to a winter white landscape outside and both my guys home. One tele-commuting for the day and the other with a rare day off. ALL of us together as we were that night one month ago. Funny how my girl made sure we could all hug one another and share a meal as well as laugh telling stories and sharing memories on this first month anniversary of her passing.
She’s sneaky that way.
Once again, my daughter has gotten her own way. Gee, color me surprised.
Things are beginning to very slowly come back into focus. Sleep is easier than a month ago. My appetite is slowly returning. Jerry and I are getting used to our new found freedom. We are taking the time to learn how to be a couple again. We are spending time with Jonathan learning how to communicate without Courtney in the daily picture.
We are rebuilding our family one day at a time.
I still walk into her room and cry. I still find myself watching the clock to make sure I keep her feeding/med schedule. I even got the blender out yesterday morning to be prepared. I still walk through the children’s section of the book store or library looking for good books to read to her. I still look online for cute sweaters or soft clothes to keep her warm.
I know the automatic response to do these things will slowly fade away but for now, it’s how I am coping. It will take some time for twenty-two years of training to be reprogrammed in this brain of mine.
In time all will be well.
Oh Mary, as always your posts allow us to peek into your life and beautiful heart and soul while you carry this heavy cross with such faith, hope, and love. The photo of your sweet Courtney makes me tear up and smile because you have been able to capture what you might imagine her looking like now in the arms of our Lord and Our Blessed Mother. So full of joy! Continued prayers on this difficult journey you are taking with your family one moment of the time! God bless you and stay warm and safe!
A whole new chapter now, for you and your family. It may seem a little daunting, but you sound like an amazing woman and I am sure you will find new adventures, and all you will grow even closer. Thank you so much for sharing your life and your stories with us! God bless you and your sweet family!
A whole new chapter now, for you and your family. It may seem a little daunting, but you sound like an amazing woman and I am sure you will find new adventures, and all you will grow even closer. Thank you so much for sharing your life and your stories with us! God bless you and your sweet family!
Dear Mary, Congratulations on the well deserved awards. Still praying for your family as you transition from who you were to who God wants you to be now. Also seeking Courtney's intercession for a prayer request. Has Jerry heard about a job yet? It's been a particular prayer intention of mine for you all. God bless and may he give you a reason to smile again tomorrow.
Love Christine
*hugs*
Just keep on keeping on!!! Praying …
So glad you were blessed with a snow day! Our Lady of the Snows, pray for us.
You speak so much hope. It's amazing.
That third paragraph made me laugh! What a character your girl is. I wonder where she gets it from? 😉 It is good to read your journey, Mary, to be a tiny part of it and share a bit of your sorrow with you. My prayers are joined with everyone else's for you, Jerry, Jonathan, and all those who miss Courtney so much I hurts.
Take your time with everything. You are all doing a fabulous job. I'm sure Courtney will pray you through this time. What wonderful parents you are.