broken hearted but surviving…

ByMary Lenaburg

Today was a hard day. I am still healing from the Black Plague of Lung Death. Thank you Jesus for the inspiration that lead to the creation of Vicadin laced cough syrup. 


Has.saved.my.life.


This week is a busy one for me. Monday we have company for lunch (yay) and then Jerry has a job interview that afternoon. Woot! Woot! Please say a prayer for my guy. He was put on a short term contract last week so he is employed until February 27. It’s driving us both a little cray cray but at least he is employed. 


Tuesday I am off to visit Courtney’s former classmates at Kilmer Center, delivering lots of equipment and diapers from Miss Courtney.Then I have a sewing class that evening. 


Distractions are good these days. 

While Jerry and I were in Mass this morning, he had a “moment” while singing “Precious Lord”. This is what happens. Everything thing is fine then whammo we are hit by a smell or song or someone hangs on to a hug just a little too long and the tears flow. 


So I held his hand, he composed himself and we went on with the day, making sure there were lots of hugs between us. This grieving thing is just wicked tough. I have learned one important lesson though. 


Mary’s one rule for dealing with grieving people …ready…


If the person who has lost a loved one is NOT crying (thereby sucking up every emotion they have to try and keep themselves together) then take your cue from them, suck it up buttercup and DON’T cry!! If they are crying, then let the river flow.


There I said it. No, I am not taking it back. I feel better. Look for my next book to be titled “You totally didn’t just say that to me as my daughter lies in her casket”…yeah…


This evening we were going through the photos from the wake and funeral that our friends Susie and Claire took for us. It was a beautiful moment and a hard one too. To see so much love poured out for our daughter made us cry. SO wonderful to see all those precious faces. There were eight priests on that alter to celebrate Mass. Amazing. Just amazing. 


So here you go my friends. More love for our girl. Thank you for continuing to pray for us as we figure out what daily life looks life for us. 


Courtney Elizabeth -HD (720p) from Mary Lenaburg on Vimeo.

25 Comments

  1. Loved the video! It's wonderful to see how many people Miss Courtney touched.

    The statue of the Blessed Mother holding Jesus' body reminded me that she went through what you're going through. She knows how much you're suffering. Lean on her in prayer, and she'll hold on to you.

    Still praying for your family!

  2. Oh, Mary, thank you so much for sharing such a beautiful video. The tears are streaming down my face and please know that you and your family are remembered in our prayers.

  3. Thanks for sharing this amazing video. The drawing at the end was beautiful beyond words. Grief is a complicated, never ending journey and we continue to pray for your family as you wade through it.

  5. God Bless you all! That was so beautiful and so sad, but so beautiful. My heart breaks for you- but seeing Courtney run to Jesus is so precious. Praying for your peace and for all that are hurting.
    Jenn

  8. I think you offer wonderful advice. When we lost my sister, the wake was exhausting, we had been dealing with our grief as her cancer worsened, but for those who came to the wake, it was like they needed us to be strong for them, because they hadn't been living with the reality. One more way that the loss wrings you out until you can't be wrung anymore. Keeping all the Lenaburgs in our prayers.

  10. Mary, Good advice, and you have every right to give it… The grieving are well grieving, we those around you well emotions for us are not to the point of exhaustion. Our job is to support you, we'll suck it up buttercup. Your video touched my heart and my heart poured out for you all. I am praying for you often. Keep the distractions up and thank goodness for cough syrup that makes you sleep. Prayers, for you, to Courtney, and for all the Lenaburgs for eternity. Because.Love.Always.Wins.

  12. What a video. What a beautiful testament of love for Courtney and your faith. You and your family is never far from my thoughts and always in my prayers.

  13. Such a beautiful video. Thank you for sharing it with us. Continuing to hold you close in thought and prayer. You and Miss Courtney will be included in my intentions as I take a pilgrimage and participate in the March for Life this week.

  14. Oh, if only it was so easy to control the tears…please know that they simply signify compassion and love for your family. I have been in situations in which I desperately wanted not to cry, but couldn't help it because of the gift of mercy for the grieving. Praying that God will give you all grace, comfort, and peace.

  18. What a beautiful memory to share. Thank you. I was listing to Catholic radio earlier today and the Priest was talking of grieving and he says that he truly believes that tears over a lost loved one are holy water for healing. Peace to you and your family.

  20. That was so beautiful Mary! Thank you for sharing this! Prayers and tears (but only when you are crying too because I will follow your "rule" 😉 ) Continued prayers and peace and comfort to your family!

  23. The video is wonderful; thank you so much for sharing.
    Will continue to pray for your Jerry's job situation and all of you.

    Small aside; have been friends with Father Steve Schultz and his family since we were in Jr High, seeing him in the video was such a small world moment.

  25. Thankyou for sharing the video, so eloquent. I was so moved by it. How precious the Mass is!
    I am trusting humbly in Courtney's intercession for my family and hoping for a miracle through her loving prayer. Continuing prayers for all of you, especially for Jerry's job. Blessings xx

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