31 days to whole ~ day 14 ~ no sabotage…

ByMary Lenaburg

Last night was a difficult one. Grief comes and goes on it’s own schedule, not mine. As I have progressed through this Whole 30is program, I have kept careful watch over what my emotional triggers are. 


Grief and sadness are HUGE triggers for me. Nothing new there. Last night was different though. I sat with the grief. I cried and Jerry held me. We talked about our sweet girl and shared our hearts. 


It was good and for once I did not sabotage myself with sugar or emotional overeating. Instead of stuffing my emotions down, I allowed them to roll over me, wave by wave. 


It’s exhausting to grieve. Physically and emotionally exhausting. My prayers last night were short and to the point. “Jesus I Trust in You”. 


It’s all I had left in me after my crying jag. Except for puffy red eyes a sore throat and the hiccups. 


I do trust. I trust that Christ will continue to walk with me as I continue to grieve the loss of my daughter. I trust that He will not leave me alone in this pool of sadness. I trust that His most Blessed Mother will hold me as I weep for my child as she wept for hers. 


One day at a time my friends. With anything in life…one day at a time.  

Blessings, 

5 Comments

  1. Good job, Mary! I remember feeling almost desperate to have some sugar, wanting to "cheat" and not doing it and having to live with the feelings. My husband was out of town and I called a friend to come over. It was very sobering for me to realize that I was medicating with sugar and not putting my trust in Jesus. Your hiccups and puffy eyes–signs of victory!

  2. Good job for not giving in to emotional eating! And perhaps, just letting yourself grief is the best thing for your heart right now. Continued prayers.

  3. Grief is such a process. You have my admiration for this whole 30 accomplishment and my prayers for continued graces and healing. God bless you and yours!

Comments are closed.