#1000 Gifts ~ more coffee please…

ByMary Lenaburg

In my cup::

Dark roasted coffee, with one teaspoon raw sugar and cream. It’s hot and plentiful this morning. It needs to be for this Mama to make it to lunch. I be tired. Miss Courtney struggled through four hours of seizures last night. Finally got them to stop around midnight. Watched her breathe for another hour before I could feel good leaving her in her bed without me, but we got through it. 
 
Sitting in::
The living room. It’s where I do my blogging. I have a beautiful bay window to look out of and it makes me feel more connected with the outside instead of homebound with a very disabled daughter who fights every day just to be here. 

 
Listening to the sounds of::
My sweet girl humming, the washing machine humming along and the dishwasher magically making my dishes clean. The sounds of a Monday morning here at Chez Lenaburg. Lots to do to get the house back in order with all the hospital chaos of the last few weeks. 

The sun is::
…hiding behind lots of clouds right now. It’s supposed to rain at some point today. That’s OK we need it. It’s a good snuggling day for me and my girl. 
 
Courtney is currently::
…finally up and ready to be awake for the day. She is smiling which is something we don not take for granted. Not for one day. She is still having trouble with her weight. I think it’s something we will have to handle all the way through. 


She is not comfortable in jeans anymore. She fussed the entire time I had her in them the other day. They were even loose ones. I think her tummy and her skin prefer soft things now. I went to Target with a gift card we had been given and purchased two pairs of cute sweat pants. She has plenty of sweaters and such but we needed a few more pants. 


We are taking things one day at a time as always. This way if she is having a really bad day we can just close the curtains and be together her and I without disappointing anyone or ruining plans. 

Something beautiful::
Fresh cut flowers always make me smile. I love all kinds. These beauties came from the Whole Foods. My sweet hubby brought them home a few weeks ago. They remind me of sunshine and and an open heart. 

 
Something Stylish:
I wrote a “What I Wore” post this morning. A day late of course but I did it. Navy blue and pink were the colors for the day. Plaid rules!

What’s on my mind::
I needed to see the meditation below first thing this morning. Miss Courtney braved her way through four hours of cluster seizures last night. They continued even after the rescue meds were given. Just another indication that our girl is tired and ready for home. Her body has fought for so long. I had the privilege of holding her through it all. She is so brave, so strong, so faithful. I sang, prayed and just sat in silence with her. My love for her grows more each day. 

From “My Meditation” on the Gospel on Mark 9:13-28:
“And as long as I do my part, at the right moment You will come down form the mountain and the task will be accomplished. Teach me that faith. Make me delight in impossible situations because then I can trust You all the more. Let me actually love the dark hours and walk through them in peace to prove to You my absolute faith in You and my complete trust in You.” 
 
This journey we are on will be filled with many good days and bad. Last night as I was holding her I just prayed God to take her home. There were no tears just a deep sense of peace in knowing that whenever God decides to bring my girl home, we will walk it with joy and not fear. 
 
It has taken a very long time for all of us to come to this place and I thank God for being so gentle with us allowing us to love her and care for her always leaving room for a miracle of His making and His alone. There will always be room for that miracle. 
 
I just need to do my part which is walking through the dark trusting God to be lamp unto my feet. One step at a time. 
 
As far as Jerry’s job situation goes, he has been on several interviews but nothing yet on the job front. His last day is Sept 19 unless he finds another spot within the company. Please pray with us and ask St. Joseph’s intercession on Jerry’s behalf.
Jesus We Trust In YOU!!
 

What I am praying for:
++ Amanda and her continued success with completing her cancer treatment. 
++ Elizabeth is on a new chemo plan. I pray for comfort, good pain management, and that she has time with her kids to make memories to sustain them.
 
++ for my husbands job and all government contractors. It’s a tough world these days and it looks like it’s going to get even more dicey. God is in control.
 
++ for the coming year in Youth Ministry. That the Lord will use Jerry, Courtney and I to witness to these beautiful young souls about how faithful the Lord is no matter what circumstances you find yourself in. He speaks to each of us in the darkest places of our hearts, waiting to be allowed in to bring healing and grace. 


++ For all those facing joblessness and possibly losing their homes, may God bring them solace and peace in their circumstances. 


++ for peace in the Holy Land, Iraq, the Ukraine, St Louis and anywhere where there is injustice and unrest. May God always be the Way, the Hope and the Truth. May He bring healing and consolation to all in harms way. 
 
++ for the medical students, doctors and medical personal that we will encounter in the coming weeks. May the Holy Spirit descend upon me and Miss Courtney during our interactions so that God’s truth always shines through.
 
++ there are so many in need of prayer right now. Know that I see your posts of FB and on Instagram and we are praying. 
 
++ for ALL of you who come to this space to be inspired and uplifted in the midst of your own challenging journey. May God’s LOVE always be the first and last thing you see/feel while here. May the glory go to HIM who makes all things possible.
 
Adventuring in the kitchen::
My sweet friend Patty showed up with two frozen meals last week. I have the first one in the oven right now. What an incredible blessings to not have to think about what’s for dinner. The evenings are the most stressful for us since that’s when the majority of Courtney’s seizures happen, so this has been a godsend. I need to take the time next weekend and make a few more for the week so my stress level is a little lower. 
 
Sewing with my Bernina:: 
I was going to make new bibs for Courtney but now I don’t know. That’s one of the sad parts for me. I am not really sure what to make for her since the time frame is so short. For now I am knitting a new washcloth, a scarf for a gift and cross stitching some Christmas ornaments. 
 
This week will bring::
A visit from Grandma Green tomorrow so that I can get some housecleaning done while she loves on Courtney. Then we have another visitor on Thursday morning and finally Holy Hour with Miss Courtney at 9pm on Friday night at St, Mary of Sorrows Church in Fairfax, VA. 
 
A nice slow week filled with love. We should know more about our Hospice placement toward the end of the week or early next week. Paperwork is still being collected but we are moving forward. 
 
 
:: giving thanks for
#2198 ~ #2218

** our youth ministry kids who are just awesome. They have such a passion for the Lord and we have a great year ahead of us. 
** for my mother who just knows when to show up with a latte in one hand and a scrub brush in another. She is da bomb!!
** bacon and pancakes on a Saturday morning with my beloved.
** for UPS packages and envelopes filled with hugs and encouragement. I am so humbled to be thought of in such a manner 
** NCIS DvD’s and ice cream with sprinkles
** Plaid Pajama’s and warm socks on the first cool night in September.
** the fact that I have my son trained and I no longer need to remind him to take the trash to the curb on trash day…parenting win!!
** the sound of Courtney’s humming…music for the soul
** cute stationary to send thank you’s to so mnay who have loved us from afar
** the love of my husband even when I have a hot flash and “flame on”
** visitors who come and love on my girl. Her ministry continues even from the living room
** the hint of fall in the air and all things pumpkin, except lattes…no pumpkin lattes. Muffins, scones and bread yes!
** hot coffee at 5 a.m. while reading scripture
** books to read my daughter that make her smile. “Fox on Sox” for the win. 
** clean, folded, put away laundry
** a clear dining room table without any piles of…anything
** freshly pressed table linens
** cloth napkins and owl salt and pepper shakers
** a bookshelf without dust
** a new pen and journal to record the thoughts of my heart
** you for being her to support us and pray with us. 

What’s in your cup? 
What’s sweetening your life?
Tell me all about it, I’d love to hear and join in the conversation.
 
 

3 Comments

  2. Praying here in Louisiana!! Thank you for being such a pure example of faith for this 62 year old momma of six girls and grandma to 111/2 grands( one due around Christmas)… As usual your post is a lesson in humility and the strongest faith I have ever encountered…. Your angel is blessed to have you and your family around her pouring love into her soul… And her body.. Praying for her comfort and your peace…. Be strong .. God is near..

  3. Jeans are so uncomfortable with a bloated tummy especially when you're sitting.

    Maybe, Jerry's impending unemployment will have a silver lining (a very pale silver) in that he'll be able to spend more time with you and Courtney. I know from personal experience that having no income is a BIG worry because we all have to provide for our most basic needs. However, I was able to spend time with my ill father and my dying friend. But not that I would want to go through that again. No siree, bob. Not out my own financial woods yet. But being with my dying friend during her last months, weeks, days, and hours was the MOST meaningful thing I've ever done. So here's hoping Jerry finds a well-paying job SOON with a liberal time-off policy.

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