what i wore ~ me and my east german swimmers arms…

Happy Sunday Y’all. 


Thanks to all for the kind words and prayers after sharing about a particularly hard day. Grief has many faces and sometimes, as much as I try to stay positive, it just becomes too damn hard to keep that smile on my face. It has been a very weepy weekend as I work through another level of loss. I thank you so much for loving me through it. 


Now on to fluffy, happy things. No grief or deep thoughts this post. Just me and my very eclectic style and maybe even a little rumination about body types and East German swimmers. 


I have been lax in keeping up with these weekly fashion posts. My bad. Things get busy or I have a bad day in dealing with my grief and the blog goes to the back of the closet and I walk away for a bit. Thanks for hanging with me and being patient. 


Let’s talk body types and my Spring wardrobe shall we. Since Courtney’s death I have gained about ten pounds. 


Y’all I am a cake-pop with the upper arms of an East German swimmer…before the Cold War ended. Those ten pounds don’t sound like a lot, but I just emptied my closet three months ago of all the size 20’s and now have only size 18’s. Hence those ten pounds make an impact on what I choose to wear everyday. 

Thankfully, I have come to a little bit of a detente with my current body weight and shape. I have been wearing my “roomier” clothing. You know, the flowy away from the body princess seam dresses, the empire waist dresses and the elastic waist skirts and pants. I also have a few pencil skirts. The “no shopping” rule I have in play makes wardrobe selection somewhat challenging. I mean, I am trying to look feminine here, not like a male cross dresser. No offense to male cross dressers.  


Of course the easiest thing for me to do would be to lose those ten pounds. I am working on it, but it will take me probably six weeks if I am very, very good to take off the weight and keep it off. Then there are the other 80 or so pounds to work through. 


Ten at a time my friends. We can talk about that in another post. 


Making peace with where I am, while slowly making my way to a slimmer me, is all I can handle these days. Today is about wardrobe camoflouge. 


I have a classic “apple” body shape at the moment. Round on top with pretty spectacular legs. Humility thy name is Mary. As stated above, I prefer to call it a “cake pop” shape body, because if I am completely honest, I am half cupcake anyway. I used to be an “hourglass” shape and I know I will get there again one day. AMazingly enough, I still have some waist definition, it’s just that right now the tummy has taken over. 


Here is a great blogpost that shows the different “body shapes” very well. 

Does not get more real my friends…so sexy. yes??

From the front, I can camaflouge the tummy. From the side, I look about 22 months preggers. Not the most attractive thing in the world. I also have large upper arms. Now mind you, those arms have lifted many a younger sibling while growing up and they have also lifted 100 pounds of Courtney on a daily basis for more than a decade. My tummy and my upper arms the least favorite parts of my body, so I usually work hard to hide them or distract the eye from them when dressing. 

One trick is layering. Except in the summer time. Then layers make me sweat buckets and that is supremely unattractive. I look better in 3/4 length sleeves than in short sleeves. Again, in the summer time it’s cute versus comfort. 


Ah the challenges of being a plus-size woman who doesn’t want to wear a kaftan everyday of my life, or be called Barney or Ted on the street.  


Oy to the vey. 

Another trick is to use color and pattern to distract. Black is blech. I own one black dress and that is all I will ever need. Just too boring me me.


Here are a few of my wardrobe choices over the past few weeks. 

The only black dress I own.

Here is the one black dress I own. It’s from Lands End and it’s a medium weight cotton knit. It has princess seems and fits me when I am a size 18 or a size 20. I always use bright accessories so that I do not look like I am an eighty year old Irish Grandmother in mourning. 


I am in mourning, but I ain’t eighty yet. 

Next up we have the layered look. It’s a sleeveless top, a very light weight cardigan and an elastic waist skirt. Again, it fits when I am a size 18 or 20. It’s also a little too warm to wear on any day where the temps climb higher than 80 degrees. 


There are multiple pieces here, so I can change it up quite a bit with other tops and accessories. Yay for basic denim. Add in a bright and happy clutch and it’s a win win.

Here we have two looks from last week. Lightweight floral pants anyone? Why yes, I will. These are from Dress Barn and they are phenom and very on fleek for todays fashion trend. Elastic waist, lots of different colors to chose from for the top and if you get caught in a spring downpour coming home from the grocery store, they dry quickly. 


The photo on the right has a lovely pink and white patterned pencil skirt with a simple white t-shirt. I don’t belong to a country club, but if I did, lunch outfit for Wednesday’s bridge club…done!

This shift dress I wore yesterday to my nieces graduation. It’s a great example of using pattern and color to camo all the parts you aren’t happy with. This isn’t the best neckline for me, but I love the graphic print so winner winner chicken dinner.


Oh chicken, that sounds yummy. 


Squirrel!


Todays outfit is a little on the schleppy side. I don’t like “baggy” clothing because it adds pounds instead of making me look slimmer, but the top buttoned and the elastic waist skirt was comfy. The knotted top brings the eye down, away from the largest part of my tummy. At least I think so. 


Who knows. Maybe I am just crazy. 


Ha.


I know. You are so surprised!  

We be cray cray today. Just trying to keep it light. Too much heavy emotional lifting for me this weekend. I needed a laugh. 


A serious laugh. 


There you go. A lovely little tutorial about body type and covering up what you don’t like.