talk to me…
Let’s talk for a minute, shall we?
I find myself in a whole new world without my Courtney. My day was once filled with caregiving and homemaking 24/7 with a little writing/blogging/vlogging thrown in for some sanity and spice.
Now that my Courtney is dancing in heaven, Mama is finding life to be very different on a daily basis. I am struggling with a direction both in my writing, blogging, and daily living.
The homemaking is coming along. I know I need to re-engage with my inner homemaker to create a peace filled joyful home that my husband and son deserve. There is purging and re-organizing, re-purposing and re-decorating using what we already have being done, very slowly, as I have energy to do it.
Where I find myself at a loss, is with this space. I know that it will change as I do. What will that change look like?
I haven’t a clue.
What say you my good readers? What do you love/hate about this space? What topics make you come back time and again? What do you want to read or be inspired by?
Talk to me…pretty, pretty please??
leave a comment and be my friend forever…
Movie on 2015-04-28 at 16.19 #2 from Mary Lenaburg on Vimeo.
Mar! It's good to hear your voice – even with the stuffy nose. <3 Cook for us! And Passionately Persevere in LIFE. Whatever is happening with you, whatever you're doing, we want to know.
I'm here because I love you. YOU. You're funny and you have such love for people. I'm here because I can't live next door, and this will have to do.
Sweet Nissa – You are the best! Thank you for being such an awesome cheerleader. I will cook for you in person one day. Until then, your wish is my command <3
Honestly, I come here because I love reading about you, and what you've been up to. I like to imagine that you're that cool next-door-neighbor that I don't have, and so I cheerfully steal your recipes and enjoy your posts about fashion and so on while "listening" to your life as it unfolds. Keep on doing what you're doing now!
"Cool next-door-neighbor" I like it Katherine. Thanks for the encouragement.
You just keep telling us your story. How God unfolds grief and grace and births new things in your life. Tell us about what it is like to rebuild a life that was dedicated to Court for so many years. Tell us truthfully and be your sassy, snarky, and sometimes sad self. Unwrap the gift of your days and the hard of your loss slowly and share some glimpses with us. And make yummy things, please. And make funny videos too. Because I love you. That is all.
"sassy, snarky and sometimes sad self" add in a little chocolate ice cream and it's the perfect me. LOL! Hugs Colleen!
Just write from your heart Mary and it will be beautiful and funny and engaging. I'll keep visiting 🙂
I don't know any other way to do it Laura. Thanks!
I hear ya. It took me 5 months to figure out how to let go of everything and try to pick back up on living my own life, and yet I still find myself a bit empty. Your blog has been so tied in to Courtney's life both on earth and in Heaven, that it's no wonder things are a struggle.
Perhaps your blog should be about the rediscovery of your life. Aside from a few things, it was pretty much put on hold while Courtney was with us, and even more so in the year or so at the end. So maybe now is the time that your blog is about rediscovering your life: With God, with Jerry, with Jonathan, with you writing, with your faith journey.
I know a fair number of people who have lost children via loss, miscarriage, empty nest, or other situations, who could use a perspective or even someone to talk/cry with either physically or "virtually" at their own time and pace and in the security of their own homes.
Perhaps this is your calling?
Perhaps it is Joe. Only time will tell. Blessings my friend.
I first came to your blog near the end of Advent, when (I think) Haley from Carrots for Michaelmas shared it. Reading through your story, I was awed and humbled and wept and was comforted. I come to read posts you share about your grieftrek, partly because I pray for you, but mostly because I'm on my own grieftrek following the death of one of my brothers in August 2012. I love how frank you are, and how bright and cheerful and fresh and homey this space is. Keep up the good work! I'm excited to continue watching what God has in store for you! Blessings!
Thank you kind Hannah. I look forward to seeing what God has in store for me as well 🙂
I first came to your blog about a week before Courtney's entrance into heaven. I have continued to read because I just love your spirit, your fight, and your raw emotions. I have felt unworthy of commenting because I know not of how to relate to your struggles which you have endured, and have no idea how I would handle the rollercoaster of emotion you have been on. You are an inspiration, both in your love of your daughter, your devotion, and your continual beautiful writings.
"spirit and fight" that I have in spades my friend. thank you for the prayers and affirmation. Hugs!
It is YOU, that is why I come back (never comment because I'm horrid) really! I love your take on things and how you love your family. You just have an appeal that I cannot put my finger on, but pray to St. Anthony to find your niche' – he will not disappoint.
You like me…you really like me! I am having a serious Sally Field moment tonight. Thanks so much my friend.
Mary – your blog is always filled with so much inspiration. You took what most of us would see as a horrible situation, and, in it, found happiness and humor and the good. And you shared it with all of us who read your blog. You have a gift for the written word that I wish I had. I wept at your sorrow and now I revel at your healing. And I'm sure you are helping so many heal too.
Miss Ellen – Courtney taught me many things over the course of her life. One of the biggest lessons was that there is JOY in every situation, you just have to choose to see it. Thanks for your prayers and support.
I'm sitting here smiling straight into a computer screen. You smile in the video, and here I am smiling right back, and if I keep it up my face is going to get a smileache. I'm here because I am one of the many many many many who have been praying for you on this journey, and of course we want to "keep up" – how could we not? Your journey continues, and we're with you. If you post a photo we'll love it, if you post a story we'll read it, if you tell us you're hurting we'll pray with you, if you say something funny we'll laugh with you, if you share a recipe everyone else but me will probably make it.
Your friend forever because I commented…. nancy 🙂
Hi forever friend Nancy (she says smiling and waving)…Thanks for coming back time and again, laughing with me and crying with me. You're the BEST!!
I first entered your blog because of a picture of Courtney that you posted on Instagram but I kept reading because I loved how you write: you are honest, real about your struggles and bad moments, but you don't live in self pity and you always find a way to laugh. You are funny and nice. I think that this is what your blog is and should be: your life, what you do, what you think, what you like and how you care for your family and home. Hugs!
Awww thank you Valeria! BTW beautiful name. So lyrical. Thank you so much for your sweet words.
Mary, I love how REAL you are: good days, bad days, pajama days! 🙂 I jumped onto the Passionate Perseverance train a few months ago, so it sounds like I need to read some archives to get book reviews, but I'm super curious as to what those bookshelves behind you are holding! 🙂 And I'm interested in how you're grieving and healing after Courtney's passing. Whatever you post about, I'll read! 🙂
Rebekah – REAL is all I have the energy for. Anything else is a waste of time. Blessings and Thanks for your love and support.
Why do I come back to this space? Because I just LOVE you Mary! Everything you are! I want to be you when I grow up! 😉
I love your truth, your wit, your style, your ups, your downs. Just share…YOU! We love you!
Definitely keep up your fashion posts….I desperately need some help there. You accessorize your jammies, I just roll with stained tees and a pair of jeans or denim skirt…usually covered in some nice, thick, baby puke.
Praying always for our Lenaburgs!
HUGS!
I LOVE YOU TOO!! I had to accessorize the jammies. I wasn't wearing a bra and that my friend is not what the internet needs to see. LOL!
I love everything you write and how you share the way you live out the title of this blog! You write with grace and wit, and you inspire me. I wish I could take you shopping with me because I love your sense of fashion and decorating style.
It doesn't matter what you share, it is always from your heart and I love that! I love to see what's up with you and your family and see Courtney's memory loved.
Mary it doesn't matter what you write about. We have been a member of your family and have walked the road with you during Courtney's life and now we walk with you in your grief. We love to hear about your family and I for one love the way you mix your faith into your everyday life. Thank you for sharing with us.
Mary, over the years I've been greatly inspired by ordinary people doing extraordinary things, with God's help. Your blog and your friendship has inspired me greatly, and I hope you continue to write about your daily struggles. Please know how much you inspire the rest of us. Your friend, Martha
I had never known anyone fighting and loving like you are and did. Maybe keep sharing about how you loved and endured? Go back and share the first few years or decades with us? Whenever I tell people about your blog, I tell them "this is a family who loves their daughter and didn't view her challenges as insurmountable. What if I have a child with severe medical issues? I wanna love him or her like Mary."
i love whatever you write–so just keep writing. 🙂 🙂 🙂
I just want to be you when I grow up! ^_^ No, but really: as a young single Catholic lady, I am in awe of your fierce love for your family and how you navigate whatever life throws at you with grace and humor. I admire how you are always so genuine, whether you're happy or sad or silly or whatever. I don't even remember how I found your blog , but I did take the time to read through much of the archives, and I was so awed by your strength and faith and JOY. I love following you in Instagram and reading anything you post here on the blog. In other words, just keep going and I'll love it! 🙂
me too, liz.
Love your blog and it is always a pick me up, even the sadder posts. I feel like I knew Courtney. Love the fashion posts, the eal posts, the struggle posts. Just keep keepin it real, and we will always read! You are a light, and so needed in this world!
I like everything you write! I appreciate that you are a positive person! I love the Catholic of your writing too. 🙂
And, if I'm remembering correctly, I've been reading your blog for five years. Is it really that long?!!?!
Talk about your grief journey. Talk about how your faith helps you keep going. Talk about how you live your life with so much joy, especially with a special kid like Courtney. You were (and still are) a role model for me in living out my life while caring for a special kid. Talk about any sewing or crafting that is going on. Just be your normal self.
I return to your blog to read about (not prioritized): Faith, daily life, day to day living in USA (I'm Danish), reminicences about Courtney, cooking, animal on a farm. What I skim/don't read: blog posts on What I wore and fashion.
God bless you and keep on writing.
Mary, so good to hear your voice! I'm so sad to have to miss the CWBN conference this weekend. Hopefully there will be another so we can finally meet! I don't have any great ideas for your blog (I struggle with inspiration too) but as always, will keep you in my prayers.
I keep coming back here because it's REAL. I'm a homeschooling mom with 8 kids. I don't take time to read many blogs. I read this one because it makes me feel normal…whether it's a heartfelt sad post, a snarky post, etc. it's all real 🙂
Wonderful to see your beautiful face!! You can just share life with us!! What your opinions are about what is going on in the world… Election year next year .. Can't wait to hear yr thoughts !! Just share your humor with us .. It's such a breath of fresh air!!! Thank you for being a part of our life … Your courage has inspired all of us.
Dear Mary,
I come here to connect with YOU. You inspire me every time you write. Knowing that you are putting one foot in front of the other every day help me to do the same. I will laugh with you and cry with you. I wish we lived close together because I am sure we would have a wonderful time.
Many blessings!
Love your fightin Irish spirit 😉 all the way from Dublin. 6 weeks out from baba number 1, your mama journey inspires, please keep writing!
I love your honest, conversational writing style. I also love your style posts. I love how you mix colors, patterns and accessories. I am a very drab dresser, but, inspired by you, I have added some colorful skirts to my closet! Thank you!
I keep coming back to read your blog because I love your writing style and I am inspired by how you handle the day to day struggles in a real, honest, and Catholic way. Hearing how you find the joy amidst the sadness… I love that. Keep being yourself as you write and you can't go wrong!
Ok just coming back after watching the video. You are just awesome.
You are the friend I always wish I had. I love your honesty and beautiful heart. I am a fairly new reader. I have looked through the archives. I love your cooking posts, daily life posts, book posts, and fashion sense. I love your strong faith, something I am always striving for. You have taught me to look for joy in everything. I really look forward to your writings.
Dear Mary, I feel as though we're friends even though we've never met. I was introduced to your blog last October by a friend, and kept coming back because it was beautiful to share in your everyday experiences with your family and in your faith journey through Courtney's illness. I would love to hear about your lenten journey of giving up the internet, although I know it's been a time of great suffering for you. But I think you can add real insight for others of us into how to cope with loss and grieving, as well as how you begin your new journey in this new life God has given you and your family.