Face First-A Rookie’s Dive into Facials

So, there I was, at the ripe age of 55, about to embark on my very first facial adventure. As I settled into the plush spa chair, I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d been missing out on the fountain of youth all these years. Little did I know that this facial would turn out to be more like a skincare circus, complete with vacuum cleaners, masks, and a bewildering array of lotions and potions.

The esthetician, with her calming demeanor, assured me that this would be a transformative experience. She started by strapping what can only be described as a miniature vacuum cleaner to my face. Yes, you read that right—a vacuum cleaner for my skin. Apparently, it was a high-tech suction machine designed to clear out my pores. I felt like I was in the middle of a sci-fi movie, but with way more serums involved.

As the machine hummed away, I couldn’t help but giggle at the absurdity of it all. I half-expected my Maggie to come running, thinking it was time to vacuum the carpets. But hey, beauty is a serious business, right?

Next came the masks, oh, the masks! I lost count of how many layers of creamy concoctions she slathered on. Each one promised to do something magical for my skin, from hydrating to rejuvenating. At one point, I began to feel like a human layer cake. I was ready for someone to stick a candle on top and sing me a happy birthday!

Then came the parade of lotions and serums—Vitamin C serum, plumping lotion, anti-aging elixir, and who knows what else. At one point, I questioned if I was secretly auditioning for a role as a mad scientist in a skincare-themed B-movie.