August 6, 2018 – 10,950 days…

30 years…10,950 days…15,768,000 minutes… is but a blink of an eye in God’s eternal economy.

Today Jerry and I celebrate thirty years of marriage. I look back on the road we have traveled which has included two beautiful children, one of whom had significant special needs, military service which included four deployments and months of separation, nine moves to five different states, healing from addictions to food (me) and porn (Jerry), financial hardships galore, more hospitalizations for our Courtney than I can count, a medical crisis or two for me and finally the death of our daughter.

Phew. That is quite a laundry list of challenges but through ALL of it, one simple promise we made to one another on our wedding night remains intact.

“I will not quit. I will not leave. I will choose to love always.” 

I said it was simple, not easy. Nothing in life worth having is ever easy and this awesome stupendous life I have been granted so worth having, so worth fighting for every single day, no matter what comes at me.

People have asked us over the years “How” have we done this, remained married through so much hardship? Again all I can say is we did not quit. We believed in one another and our Sovereign God to make it all work, through good times and bad, in sickness and health, through richer for poorer, loving, honoring and cherishing until death do us part.

We have humbled ourselves to ask for help, whether emotional, spiritual or practical and trusted God’s provision to make it all work. God does not disappoint in His faithfulness. I don’t always understand Him or why He allows what he allows, but I know that He is working ALL things together for my good and that of my husband. His track record in our lives speaks that truth loud and clear.

Yes, we have hurt one another deeply.

Yes, we have wanted to walk away more than once.

Yes, we have buried a child and lived to breathe again on the other side of grief.

Yes, even knowing what I know now, I would say “yes” all over again because that means I would get to do life with Jerry Don Lenaburg, a man of honor and integrity. A man with a sense of humor that is unmatched in my opinion. A man who would lay down his life for me, his children, his country or his God.

No we are not on a beach in some far off exotic location or holed up in a swanky hotel for the night. It’s just Jerry and I, together, holding hands and laughing, praising God for the gift of one another, the good, the bad and the ugly.

I am one very lucky girl to love you Jerry. My heart is full. So very, very full.

May we be blessed with at least thirty more years together. Even that seems too short to me.

I love you.

Happy 30th Anniversary!