Letting Go

My friend Mary Bielski once told me “Mary if you want a new life, you’re going to have to let go of the old one”. Boy was she right.

Today Jerry and I deep cleaned, de-cluttered and organized our butts off in order to create a space in the corner of the Master Bedroom that could be used as a little video studio for my  Lux Summit keynote tomorrow morning at 10am EST. I needed to be closer to the router as well as dampen the noise so that the audio/video was the best quality we could provide. This is a HUGE moment for me having followed @leah.darrow career from the beginning. To be asked by her to give a LIVE keynote for her first online summit feels like Christmas and my birthday all rolled up into one. I want to give it my very best, which required a little redecorating.

In the process of cleaning, I came across a drawer filled with everything that was on my Courtney’s dresser when she passed. Y’all I have not laid eyes on these things in 5 years. They were under a bunch of other stuff, well hidden to protect my heart.

Dang. It was a tough moment. I stopped. I bawled my eyes out as I held each item and remembered. It was hard y’all. I let myself feel it all for the next hour. Jerry and I talked and shared our hearts. Oh how we miss our daughter.

But then something beautiful happened. We started laughing and I realized that this is just how it’s going to be. Grief. It comes and then it goes leaving behind a smile and a story keeping our Courtney front and center in our lives. I spent the next hour incorporating these sweet items into our bedroom decor. When I give my talk, Courtney will be right there with me, both in spirit and memory. .

My old life is gone y’all. Replaced by something so beautiful and incredibly wonderful, one that I never saw coming but God did and it is good. Very, very good. Beauty rises from the ashes if we but surrender all the painful broken parts to the Divine Healer.